Friday, July 20, 2012

6, not 5

The new number is now 6...not 5.

Surgeries, that is.

Yes, this is a HUGE bummer for us. Let's just say that I've been in a huge slump this past week and a half. Ok...I'll backtrack.

We were told from day #1 that Brooke would have 5 surgeries. This would include 2 rounds of 2 surgeries each & then a final touchup surgery...all to equal 5. However, even though we were told 5, we have learned to completely understand that things can change.

We met with Dr. Bauer the last full day of the conference & after one look at Brooklyn he said that the easiest, & best, way to make her face symmetrical is to do another expansion.

Jaw. Drops. Here.

Basically, all I remember was standing out in the hall waiting for it to be our turn; then we went in the room & got to talk with Kristi (his amazingly wonderful scheduler); then he looked at Brooklyn & we talked about lowering that right eyebrow & right hairline; then he said those dreaded words "another expansion"; then it went blank. I pretty much said "OK....OK....OK....yeah, send me an email with available dates....OK....bye". I walked out of there, straight up to our room, then lost it.

I know 6 surgeries isn't as much as other families have to have. And I know it's not the end of the world. But when you have your hopes set on a number...both financially & mentally, then you find out you have to add another surgery - another trip to Chicago, more time off work, more money spent, more hotels, more food, more gas &/or airline tickets, & the list goes on - you literally feel like a bomb has been dropped.

So I had my little "moment" in the hotel while poor little Brooke was looking at me like "what on earth is the matter with you woman". Pulled myself together, reminded myself that the Lord is in control & he actually knew this whole time that she'd have to have 6 surgeries, had a talk with Amie, then just said "ok let's do this", called Dustin, explained everything to him, then went downstairs for dinner.

And that was that.

I got an email just a few days after the conference from Kristi, got dates for later in the fall/winter (what Dr. Bauer wanted), scheduled for December 6, 2012 & February 7, 2013, & the rest is history!

Ok so I wish it was that easy. Well all the physical parts of it were. The mental parts, however, were a completely different story. I got depressed. I mean, not just a little depressed. But I got full-blown into a depression that I was scared I wouldn't get out of. It even scared ME! Poor Dustin didn't know what to do with me, the girls didn't know what happened to their mom, & I was like a sad pitiful zombie everywhere I went. It took me until now to be able to talk about it. Actually for a short while I didn't even tell people that we had to have a whole other round. I didn't want the questions! So I just didn't say anything about it until my "poor us" feelings passed.

But something, thank the Lord, pulled me out of it & pushed me right into Ok-how-are-we-going-to-afford-this mode. So now I'm in a full-blown "we're having 6 surgeries so let's get this show on the road" mood & trying my hardest to brainstorm about how we can physically, emotionally, & financially add another surgery into the mix.

So here we go......

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